Top 5 List: People We'd Like To See Stuck In A Chilean Mine

The world needs heroes. This week, the world got a look at 33 brave souls who endured unimaginable conditions to survive a horrific mine collapse in Chile. They survived for the first 17 days on a sip of milk and two bites of tuna... every 48 hours. It was unbearably hot and humid and the air was disgusting. And no one had any idea they if were alive during that time. They all survived, they all made it. (Side note: some of the survivors from the rugby team who's plane crashed and was the basis of the movie Alive were there to talk to the miners for support. That strikes us as a terrible idea. "If you get hungry, just eat Fred" is not the advice we want them to give.) With that in mind, here's our top five people we'd like to see trapped in a mine. We're in no rush to save them.

We'd stick him far underground, but he'd be right at home.

Tim

Sean Penn (and his personal photographer)

Penn will save his mine mates and us some work by actually going into the mine a day early with his photog, so he can properly document his heroic effort.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Have fun with him Mr. Penn. You'll have lots to talk about.

George Lucas

It's the only way to stop him from further ruining Star Wars.

Whoever canceled Firefly

To paraphrase Malcolm Reynolds, "If anything happens to him, anything at all, I swear to you, I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears."

Guillermo del Toro

He and Lucas can kill time by talking about movies that look cool but are actually shit.

Dave

Jerry Jones

Jerry serves a dual purpose. First, with him out of the picture, his son Stephen will run the Dallas Cowboys into the ground, which is a good thing. Secondly, he (well, his family) will use all his money and resources to get him out of the mine, therefore accelerating the development of mine rescue technology.

Jeff Francoeur