Badass Teachers

When you were a kid, did you ever wonder what your teachers did outside of the classroom?  There's no way it was as cool as what these guys did in their spare time.

 We're sure he wasn't an auctioneer.

5. Arnold Schwartzenegger in Kindergarten Cop


No one is going to be the party pooper here.

Day job: Substitute teacher in Astoria, Oregon.

Extra curricular activities: Is actually a detective from Los Angeles who is undercover to weed out a key witness in an investigation.  Enjoys lifting weights, beating the crap out of deadbeats at LA nightclubs, lifting weights, ferrets, lifting weights, shooting couches and boom boxes with a shotgun, lifting weights, interrogating children with awkward questions and oh yes did we say lifting weights?

Extra credit for: You know where this is going.



Preferred teaching instrument: Guns.

4. Charlie Hunnam in Green Street


It's like the BBC version of Sons of Anarchy.

Day job: Middle school history and P.E. teacher in East London.

Extra curricular activities: Leader of West Ham United (yes, of all clubs... West Ham) firm Green Street Elite.  Enjoys drinking and beating the crap out of members of rival team's firms.

Extra credit for: Making Elijah Wood look (semi-)tough.

Preferred teaching instrument: Fists.

3. Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones

Sorry kids, I couldn't grade your papers over the weekend, I was being chased by the Luftwaffe.

Day job: Archaeology professor in Connecticut.

Extra curricular activities: Hunting for extraordinary high value historical items, fighting Nazis, putting up with Kate Capshaw, evading the murderous wrath of local villagers and flesh-eating tribes.

Extra credit for: All those beautiful women he slept with.

Preferred teaching instrument: Horse whip.

2. Samuel L Jackson in 187


He's sick and tired of these motherfucking gang bangers in his motherfucking classroom.

Day job: High school substitute teacher in Los Angeles.  (Substitutes seem to be a theme here.)

Extra curricular activities: Waging war against a gang, he cuts off the finger of one of his students, kills another.  Guilts a student into... killing himself.

Extra credit for: Hogging all the turns in Russian Roulette.

1. Tom Berenger in The Substitute


Good thing he wasn't a substitute nurse.  Every student would be told to "take the pain."

Day job: High school substitute teacher (duh) in Miami. (It's official: don't mess with substitute teachers.)

Extra curricular activities: Is actually a mercenary undercover as a sub to fight a gang. Enjoys strapping up a kevlar vest and locking and loading in the classroom.  Has probably killed someone in every way imaginable.

Extra credit for: Doing what Michelle Pfeiffer should have done in Dangerous Minds: shoot gang member students, in particular Marc Anthony.

Preferred teaching instrument: Soda cans, his own fingers, ice picks, guns.  You name it.  Whatever it takes to lay down the law, Berenger does it.  It's like one part Stand and Deliver, one part Kindergarten Cop, and three parts Platoon.