Gridiron Heroes

NFL training camps open up across the league this week, so we thought it would be a good time to give our Top 5 favorite players from our favorite teams. Wes, who isn't a football fan anyways, was out last week, so Ryan stepped in for him.

Medieval Weapons

"What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass." - Pulp Fiction

The ball gag could be considered medieval.

Okay Marcelus, but pliers and a blow torch ain't medieval. Try these. Guest starring Scott.

Lame Comic Book Characters

Last week we did our favorite comic book characters. Today it's the worst of the worst.


Multiple Man would be #1 on our sister site, Infinite List.
He'd also be #2 through ∞

It's tough to create a good comic book character, you never know exactly what readers are going to respond to. For example two of the most popular characters are a guy who dresses up like a bat, and his arch enemy who wears clown makeup. So we can let mediocre ones slide. But these 5, all big enough to at least appear, if not "star" in a movie or TV show, are inexcusable. We present them in no particular order, because ranking this shit is too painful.

Comic Book Characters

We're back! We're quasi-geeks here at Top 5, and we're okay with that. Here's our Top 5 comic book characters, both the superheroes and the villians.

Guest starring Scott.

There's only four of you, so no, you don't make the list.

USA vs England

The World Cup Starts today, and tomorrow the US takes on England in it's biggest game since... last year. There will be a lot of people who don't know much about soccer watching, so we feel it's our patriotic duty (even for Wes, who's Canadian by birth) to give you a primer. So here are the Top 5 things we'd like to see happen in the US/England World Cup match tomorrow.


We asked Tim Howard for his input, but he's still thinking about it.

Guitar Solos

The guitar is the backbone of rock. The marrow that runs through it is the guitar solo.

Here are our favorite solos. Favorite being the key word. Don't like it? Leave us your own.

Eruption isn't on here. Sue us.

2010 Playoff Beards

One of the best things about playoff hockey is the infamous Playoff Beard. Often duplicated by other sports, it is never truly replicated. In honor of the Stanley Cup Finals beginning on Saturday, here are our Top 5 Playoff Beards for 2010. Only the Finalists, the Philadelphia Flyers and the Chicago Blackhawks are eligible. You'll notice that it's mainly Flyers, for two reasons. One, I'm a huge Flyers fan. Two, let's face it, they have the better beards.


Flyers captain and hero Mike Richards is looking forward to this list.

Westerns and Their Mustaches

A great western is hard to beat. Action, drama, fantastic actors, wonderful costumes, elegant set pieces and beautiful scenic locations... they've got it all. Oh, and they've usually got some great mustaches.

There is no better movie for mustaches than Tombstone.

The Doors

This list will not go over well in New Haven, Connecticut. If you've ever been to New Haven, well... I'm sorry that you have.


This is not like that scene in Kinsey. Hopefully.

Filling in for Tim is Heather. Fittingly, these lists go from Five to One.

Wes

5. Riders on the Storm
4. When the Music's Over
3. Five to One
2. The End
1. LA Woman

Dave

5. Love Me Two Times
4. Take It As It Comes
3. The Crystal Ship
2. Light My Fire
1. Touch Me

Heather

5. Light My Fire
4. Break on Through
3. The End
2. LA Woman
1. Five to One

Robots

Apparently we don't talk enough about robots. Today, that changes...

The Joy of Flying

I just flew over the weekend, and it was a fine experience, as it usually is.  But it's not always.  Here's 5 great annoyances of flying.

You know you're in good hands with Frank Lapidus at the helm.

1. The non-English speaking couple with at least 7 pieces of over-sized luggage and/or boxes who take 20 minutes at the self check-in kiosk and ultimately need to go in line and see an agent anyway, wasting everyone's time.

2. That whenever you really need to be on the flight you're booked on, that's when they ask anyone if they'd like to catch the next flight in exchange for a free ticket; but when you've got all kinds of time, they're never overbooked.

3. Philadelphia International and Boston Logan's baggage handling.  One time I flew from Philly to Atlanta and scheduled at the same game at the same time was a flight to Richmond, VA, which of course is impossible.  I made it to Atlanta just fine, predictably my bags enjoyed a nice trip to Virginia.  This isn't out of the ordinary in Philly.  Then there was the time in Boston where an entire wing of baggage claim was filled with luggage.  There must have been a thousand pieces, it was like a Samsonite showcase.  Not surprisingly, they lost my bag too.  I didn't feel guilty telling them it would have to be driven to New Hampshire.  By 5pm.  Because I gave them my work address.

4. The guy who clearly hasn't flown since at least 2001 and so he has no idea that he needs to take his shoes and belt off, let alone take his laptop out of it's case.  So now the fast moving security line you got in comes to a screeching halt because Grandpa Simpson hasn't been on an airplane since Braniff Airlines was in existence.  You half expect his wife to have a dozen bottles of 32 ounces of liquid and complain that they have to be disposed of.

5. That not every landing is an awesome roller coaster like this is:



That's no accident, that's the way they had to land the planes everytime.

Annoying Songs

We've been off for a while, but we're back with a long(ish) list. It's our Top 5 Most Annoying Songs, ones that make you want to just hurt the people who wrote them, although some of these people seem to enjoy pain, or the publicity. A couple of guest stars today, Marc and Jeff.